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  Periodically, President Ned Graham shares his insights on news in China, the activities of our staff in Hong Kong, Mainland China and Australia and the needs of the Chinese church.
This
month's prayer letter
July 2007 - Tribute to Ruth Bell Graham
Dear Friend,
I have waited awhile to write this tribute, not because I didn’t have much to say about the woman I called “Mom” but because I wanted to write exactly what she would have wanted me to write. This meant spending a lot of time on my knees in God’s Word, quieting and stilling my soul like a weaned child with its mother (Psalm 131) -- always a good place to start.
My earliest memories in life were nursing from my Mom’s breast. I was the baby of the family by six years (oops) and for some reason, Mom decided to nurse me until I was into my twos. One day, one of her friends asked her, “Ruth, doesn’t Ned’s teeth hurt you?” “Absolutely,” Mom replied, “but I wouldn’t trade the intimacy for anything.”
Well, needless to say, I was eventually weaned and interestingly, in the past five years, I have had the privilege of taking care of my Mom in her declining health. Five years ago, when Mom was hospitalized with penumonia, the doctors met with family members and gave Mom just a couple of weeks to live. Dad called me and asked if Christina and I would come back to North Carolina and take care of Mom. We got Mom out of the hospital and back to her own home and bed.
At that time, I made Mom five promises: First, that she would never have to return to a hospital. Second, we would give her the highest quality of life possible for whatever time God gave her. Third, we would reduce her medications and increase her nutrition to give her the highest level of mental acuity possible. Fourth, we would provide her the greatest dignity possible until the end. And finally, she would die at home with her family gathered around her.
Ruth Bell Graham
June 10, 1920 - June 14, 2007
Mom conceived me, carried me for nine months and then raised and nurtured me into adulthood. All my life, whenever I fell, Mom was always there to encourage, accept, love unconditionally and give meaningful, spiritual guidance without condemnation. What an absolute pleasure it has been to return the favor and do exactly the same for her during her twilight years.
As a young man, I could be strong-willed and stubborn. Mom was extremely strong-willed and had a tough stubborn streak as well. The role reversals from being taken cared for by Mom to taking care of Mom was a sweet and poignant one, although not without its problems. Transforming the home into an intensive care unit while still making it feel like a home was not a simple task and Mom didn’t like anybody messing with her home.
I praise God I inherited Mom’s strong will and stubborness because the staff would always come running to me to deal with Mom when a change had to be made and she would find out about it. We both had a similar, dry sense of humor that always served us well. But if we reached an impasse, we would reach for the Bible and look for our wisdom there.
Mom’s and my lifetime relationship began and ended with Scripture and prayer. Written in the front page of the first Bible Mom ever gave me were these simple words:
Learn It Love It Live It
These final years with Mom taught us a lot although I got the better end of the deal! Every afternoon I would spend time preparing for evening devotions and then before Mom was given her nighttime meds, we would read Scripture and frequently, a prayer from The Valley of Vision, a collection of anonymous Puritan prayers. God taught us a lot about spiritual warfare and putting on the full armor of God every day. He taught us a lot about love and forgiveness. How many Christians have read I Corinthians 13 and really practiced it? How many of us have read the Book of James and truly submitted ourselves to God and disciplined ourselves to tame the use of our tongue?
One of Mom’s favorite quotes came from a song by folk singer James Taylor which I shared with her one night: “If I had only cooled my head, warmed my heart, closed my mouth and opened my ears.” Mom immediately saw the correlation between this quote and the biblical principles espoused in the Book of James. That’s why over the next several evenings, she would ask me to repeat it until she had it memorized!
During my rebellious years, Mom was fond of placing Scripture notes or poems in places I would find them later. I want to share with you two of them in hopes that you may find them helpful in your own walk. The first is an original of her poem “Die Son.” I think it is self explanatory.
  
Mom's Poem - Die Son
Mom's note to me - April 22, 1973
Do you notice Mom’s understanding of the centrality of free will to our Christian walk? We must die to live but we must choose to die. Everyday. This is her legacy to me. I witnessed it in her everyday even as her body failed her. Many others would have given up the fight but she did not. She finished the race God set out for her with perseverance, humor, dignity and above all, a yielded, and tender heart towards God -- her first love.
The second is a note (left) that she tucked into the pocket of my jacket the day I left her at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota to drive to Seattle
-- note her comment at the end!
Two weeks before Mom died, before she would finally “see clearly” and have all her “questions and answers became one,” (C.S. Lewis), Christina and I visited with her after I had returned from China. I shared with her the marvelous work of the Elderly Sisters’ Home in Hangzhou. Mom had personally given over $20,000 to this project from the royalties of her book, Prodigals and Those That Love Them.
Elderly Sisters' Home
Hangzhou, China
I told her how there were now 300 elderly sisters being loved and cared for and that now they were preparing to build a second phase where the elderly “sisters” could live with medical supervision when they became seriously ill or close to death. The new addition would be built right next to the original
facility so their friends could go and visit and be with them right up until their passing. They wouldn’t have to leave this life in a distant, overcrowded hospital.
Land to be purchased for second
phase of Elderly Sister’s Home.
Knowing this, Mom was so excited and wanted to give something to it immediately. Of course we distracted her and went on to talk about other things. But what a perfect tribute to Mom, a “Daughter of China” to take on this project in her name.
So East Gates is setting up the Ruth Bell Fund to help purchase the eight hectares of land so the second phase of this elderly home can be completed for “sisters soon to go home.” She knew from personal experience what it was like to spend the last few years, months and days of her life in a home surrounded by love and genuine care and she desires it for her aging Chinese “sisters” as well.
We deeply appreciate your loving and loyal support to East Gates. It reminds us of one of my Mom’s favorite hymns...Great Is Thy Faithfulness.
Ned and Christina Graham
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